trust nobody

i've been thinking about this thing so many times lately. hmm. i'm kind a wondering. who can i trust ? who my real friends ? since past 2 months, i did'nt approve any friends request on my facebook. why ? because i've been stabbed by people around me for few times and i've learn from that. now i decided to not trust anybody except my self and of course him.

i noticed some people i met everyday, being so near with me, so damn unsatisfied or hmm jealous maybe to my relationship. until now i still cant find why that thing could happen because i have no bad feeling towards her or her relationship because i had so much better life than her i guess.

once when i had a fight with him than she'll come over him and whisper to him like a evil or something and i still don't understand why. haha. because i had so much better life than her i repeat. come on sweetheart. just move on with your life. learn how can i had this beautiful life and stop doing something which we both know does'nt worth any shitt.

pfft -.-
i don't have any idea kenape wujud lagi manusia mcm ni dekat dunia nii. come on lahh. dah 2011 lah sayang kuu. haih.

and fyi, i am so damn happy with him and you can stop berusaha nk ruin our relationship lah. sebab aku tk penah kisah pasal your life lah sayang. and i am so glad to have him even starting relationship kitorang pun kau nk ruin kan jugak kann. haha.

and ada lagi satu jenis org yg aku baru noticed hmm wujud jugak org macam nii.
'aku cakap org boleh tapi sebenarnye aku cakap pasal die sebab aku dengki dengan die kott'
faham tak ? so cute kann ? ni lah perangai manusia.

haih. i know nobody is perfect. even myself pun. tapi entah lah. haih. ketara sangat kau tk puas hati dengan org even org tu tk penah kacau kau tak penah kenal kau punn hmm camane tuu ? haih. nk tegur, kawan sendiri. nk diam, aku sendiri sakit hati. haih nk ignore tapi rasa macam tk puas hati pulak.

now, i decided to screw the world hmm okay tak ?haha tapi nanti org pulak sibuk pasal aku hmm camane pulak kann. susah lah nak cari kawan betul betul kawan sebab macam dah takde real friends dah kann. haih, actually ade tapi berapa kerat je yg aku betul betul percaya.

sighhh -.-
dunia nk kiamat dah kann.

improving

grrrr. people get sick watching we fighting almost everyday lately. huhhh. im getting sick too. but frankly, i know its all because of me. haha. but nobody know why i've been acting like this lately. there's only you the one who understand. blame me sayang. sure you can. cause you got nobody to blame for. its only me.

i have never wanted this kind of thing happen to me, sayang. im also never wanted to hurt you this hard baby. and im so sorry for that.

from now, for what you've did for to me, i promise to my self, i'd improve myself for you. for our happiness. trust me baby. i know i can. i just need you to show me the right path.

maybe i've never told you this one, but i fell so lucky to have you baby. the world would be so jealous to ai'nt got you sayang. heee. trust me. the only man who could make me happy, there's only you. the only man that i can trust, its only you.

easy to forgive

yeahhh, its maybe easy to forgot, but no, its not easy to forgive. im so sorry i could'nt be her. just like her. cause i am me. myself. at least, im not hypocrite or something else. this is me. the girl you fall in love and you in love with now. if you expecting i'd act like her, you better go get her to be with you.

sometimes, i just hope i can afford to compare you with any man i ever met. but no, i just could'nt. because i so understand and so pleased for what you had. that's my way. you has cross my border line. i just cant stand with it anymore. but no, i won't leave you. cause i just cant afford to do so.

so many things happened around, but this one, i just cant deal with it. cause i had enough, boy. and that is too bad to love you cause i just cant hurt you like you did.

DEAR FADZLI,

DEAR FADZLI,

Im so sorry for what i've done to You,
Im so sorry if I being so rude to You,
Im so sorry if I cant make you comfortable,
Im so sorry if I cant give Your confident back to You.
Im so sorry if i've being so mean to You.

Im so sorry if I keep yelling at You,
Im so sorry if I changed when I got lot of money,
Im so sorry if I act so annoyed to You,
Im so sorry if I cant give what You want from me,
Im so sorry if I angry at You when You keep complaining about You scars, Your pimple at me,
Im so sorry if I cant be so perfect to You.


IM SO SORRY FOR WHAT I"VE DONE, BUT STILL, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH :)

MAYBE !

yes, maybe i am the one who can make you laugh, but maybe yes, i cant appreciate you like you did to me. yes, im suck ! im stupid. DAMN. i should let you go, but i wont. because of what ?

IM STILL LOVING YOU :'(

but why i cant change for you ? kenapa tak boleh buang semua ego ni ? why huh ? haih. i dont deserve you man ! trust me.

you are nice man, i mean you can just throw your friends out of your life, but i cant ! why i cant do that ? why i cant be like you ? cant you see it ? i dont deserve you baby ! i mean, you could find a better girl for you. but, no ! i just cant see you with another girl. its pain ! and i know she could'nt make you happy like i did !

know what ? i wish i can make you happy, but i just cant. run baby run
i know you pain. just tell me if you want i let you go. but i know, you wont. i know you love me more than i love you. i know you cant live without me.

i have to stop pretend. im not myself anymore

I MISS MYSELF

3RD MONTHS ANNIVERSARY.

mesti korang kate, 'alah, baru 3 bulan !' haha. tapi korang tak tau macam mane sesak dada nii nak sampai sejauh nii. no, im not blaming you or whatsoever, its just i cant imagine so many things are we've been through. but now, we're stronger i guess. this is just a game, that we've to keep playing it to get top score. haha. ape aku mencarut nii ? sighhh.

whatsoever. im not giving up to my own game. haha. even im the one who ask you to end this game just now right ? remember syg ? but you dont have any idea why i did it. its so pain to fight with you. but like i said, its just a game. just keep enjoying the game.

yesterday, yes, we keep arguing until today. its just because a little girl who dont get enough attention and try to lagakan kitorang ! i dont know what exactly her attention, but yes, he made we fighting. haha. just let her be. she just fifteen ! grow up girl ! you annoying. trust me :)

and now, we just fine. everything are fixed. and happy 3rd months anniversary syg. i know we can stay longer. we just fine syg. trust me. people around are just jealous to what we got right now. they are jealous to not have you. because im the one who got you :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !

19th anniversary cake :)

haha. see ! im 19 now lahh baby ! haha. this is my first time celebrating my anniversary with muhammad nur fadzli. awww, he's so sweet ! he really make my day. i love you sayang. now and forever.

so what i got on my birthday ?
an egg exactly on my head : jannah, ina and FADZLI ! haha. see, fadzli pun subahat sekali. tapi dia dah dapat telur tu from jannah. tapi die tak sampai hati nak baling sebab kepala aku dah sakit gila lepas jannah baling betul betul dekat atas kepala. haha :D thanks guys :)

a shirt and couple key chain : fadzli
a cake : ikin, ijam and fadzli. THANKS GUYS ! love you guys so much.

at first im really not expected this kind of celebration. but i dont know where they get the money to do this such things which so sweet ! haha. thanks thanks and big thanks for you guys ! sumpah lah saya amat terharu.

at first, fadzli janji nak keluar pukul 1. then dia lambat sampai nak dekat pukul 2 baru sampai bwh flat ! keje aku nak mengamuk je lah kan ! haha. then he told me, die nk pegi beli cake, tapi ijam dah beli. then i ask him. "mane korang dapat duit hah ? main num ekor ke ?" haha. sebab mcm marah jugak lah. sebab aku dah tau korang semua tgh kering including me. then sampai ap, takde hala tuju sampai lah ijam pegi kedai motor then fadzli gile ape entah ajak aku lepak dekat popular sambil baca buku. dalam hati dok pikir, ape lah tebiat budak nii selambe ajak aku dating dekat popular. then i know, die saje nak lengah kn masa sebab nak pegi rumah ekin lambat sikit. haha. lepas tu dah sampai je, ade cake lah ! haha. so sweet lah you guys.

thanks a lot yeee ! you guys such a good friend of me and fadzli is the best boyfriend i ever had. thanks sayang :)

ikin, the birthday girl and ekin :)

husband. ily :)

:)

happy :)