DEAR FADZLI,

DEAR FADZLI,

Im so sorry for what i've done to You,
Im so sorry if I being so rude to You,
Im so sorry if I cant make you comfortable,
Im so sorry if I cant give Your confident back to You.
Im so sorry if i've being so mean to You.

Im so sorry if I keep yelling at You,
Im so sorry if I changed when I got lot of money,
Im so sorry if I act so annoyed to You,
Im so sorry if I cant give what You want from me,
Im so sorry if I angry at You when You keep complaining about You scars, Your pimple at me,
Im so sorry if I cant be so perfect to You.


IM SO SORRY FOR WHAT I"VE DONE, BUT STILL, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH :)

MAYBE !

yes, maybe i am the one who can make you laugh, but maybe yes, i cant appreciate you like you did to me. yes, im suck ! im stupid. DAMN. i should let you go, but i wont. because of what ?

IM STILL LOVING YOU :'(

but why i cant change for you ? kenapa tak boleh buang semua ego ni ? why huh ? haih. i dont deserve you man ! trust me.

you are nice man, i mean you can just throw your friends out of your life, but i cant ! why i cant do that ? why i cant be like you ? cant you see it ? i dont deserve you baby ! i mean, you could find a better girl for you. but, no ! i just cant see you with another girl. its pain ! and i know she could'nt make you happy like i did !

know what ? i wish i can make you happy, but i just cant. run baby run
i know you pain. just tell me if you want i let you go. but i know, you wont. i know you love me more than i love you. i know you cant live without me.

i have to stop pretend. im not myself anymore

I MISS MYSELF

3RD MONTHS ANNIVERSARY.

mesti korang kate, 'alah, baru 3 bulan !' haha. tapi korang tak tau macam mane sesak dada nii nak sampai sejauh nii. no, im not blaming you or whatsoever, its just i cant imagine so many things are we've been through. but now, we're stronger i guess. this is just a game, that we've to keep playing it to get top score. haha. ape aku mencarut nii ? sighhh.

whatsoever. im not giving up to my own game. haha. even im the one who ask you to end this game just now right ? remember syg ? but you dont have any idea why i did it. its so pain to fight with you. but like i said, its just a game. just keep enjoying the game.

yesterday, yes, we keep arguing until today. its just because a little girl who dont get enough attention and try to lagakan kitorang ! i dont know what exactly her attention, but yes, he made we fighting. haha. just let her be. she just fifteen ! grow up girl ! you annoying. trust me :)

and now, we just fine. everything are fixed. and happy 3rd months anniversary syg. i know we can stay longer. we just fine syg. trust me. people around are just jealous to what we got right now. they are jealous to not have you. because im the one who got you :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME !

19th anniversary cake :)

haha. see ! im 19 now lahh baby ! haha. this is my first time celebrating my anniversary with muhammad nur fadzli. awww, he's so sweet ! he really make my day. i love you sayang. now and forever.

so what i got on my birthday ?
an egg exactly on my head : jannah, ina and FADZLI ! haha. see, fadzli pun subahat sekali. tapi dia dah dapat telur tu from jannah. tapi die tak sampai hati nak baling sebab kepala aku dah sakit gila lepas jannah baling betul betul dekat atas kepala. haha :D thanks guys :)

a shirt and couple key chain : fadzli
a cake : ikin, ijam and fadzli. THANKS GUYS ! love you guys so much.

at first im really not expected this kind of celebration. but i dont know where they get the money to do this such things which so sweet ! haha. thanks thanks and big thanks for you guys ! sumpah lah saya amat terharu.

at first, fadzli janji nak keluar pukul 1. then dia lambat sampai nak dekat pukul 2 baru sampai bwh flat ! keje aku nak mengamuk je lah kan ! haha. then he told me, die nk pegi beli cake, tapi ijam dah beli. then i ask him. "mane korang dapat duit hah ? main num ekor ke ?" haha. sebab mcm marah jugak lah. sebab aku dah tau korang semua tgh kering including me. then sampai ap, takde hala tuju sampai lah ijam pegi kedai motor then fadzli gile ape entah ajak aku lepak dekat popular sambil baca buku. dalam hati dok pikir, ape lah tebiat budak nii selambe ajak aku dating dekat popular. then i know, die saje nak lengah kn masa sebab nak pegi rumah ekin lambat sikit. haha. lepas tu dah sampai je, ade cake lah ! haha. so sweet lah you guys.

thanks a lot yeee ! you guys such a good friend of me and fadzli is the best boyfriend i ever had. thanks sayang :)

ikin, the birthday girl and ekin :)

husband. ily :)

:)

happy :)

IM SO IN LOVE !

for the rest of my life,
i'll be with you,
i'll stand by your side,
honest and tru
to the end of my time,
i'll be loving you, loving you :)

by, maher zain.

sumpah this song touching gila ! hee. ily more muhammad nur fadzli :)

so guys, happy raya ! sorry lama tak updated. biasa lah kan, raya season, mesti banyak open house. so, busy lah sikit. tapi, ESOK FINAL ! woooow ! struggle lah hari ni. struggle lah sgt kn. dah berapa jam duduk depan pc, buku ape tak bukak lagi since raya hari tu. haaaah. kering gile kan ? haha. now, i really hope doa dari korang. tapi kalau ada doa, tapi buku tak bukak pun tak gune jugak kn ? see dayah, kau memang malas lahhh -__-'

cakap pasal open house, yesterday i was attended satu open house. the most important house in my life right now ! guess what ? semalam aku pergi rumah family fadzli. gila nervous. okayy, start cerita dari pagi. fadzli and me pergi college dulu sebab nak settle kn course work kitorang. ade satu lagi kuiz yang kitorang tak buat. then jumpa ijam. lepas tu text ekin, ajak pegi sekali. then kitorang fetch ikin girlf ijam pastu proceed pegi rumah fadzli. ahaha. but before that, malam sebelum open house fadzli told me for bring extra tshirt. haha. mama nye nak dera buat keje dapur. haha. tu yg nervous tu. then lepas sampai, salam mama lepas tu makan dengan dorang semua dekat depan.

few minutes later, ekin dgn wan nak balik. lepas tu, ijam dgn ikin pulak. haha. seems like dorang tinggalkan aku sorang sorang. gila nervous dohhh ! :O

tapi alhamdulillah, lepas fadzli pegi kedai, then mama and mamateh die soal siasat, haha. PASS ! alhamdulillah. hee. penerimaan yg baik. dan alhamdulillah aku pandai bwk diri. hee. plus dayah pandai lah pulak bodek kan, duduk dapur, cuci pinggan, angkat pinggan, tambah nasi, haha.

then malam, ingatkan nk dtg rumah fadzli balik, tlg mama kemas rumah die. tapi mama die kate tak payah sebab taknak susahkan aku. hee. lepas tu mama bagi duit raya. and yg paling mengejutkan, mama fadzli tulis something belakang sampul tu ! haha. thanks aunty. appreciate gile layanan yg diterima. semuanya sporting and boleh terima aku. sayang kata 'green light gila ohh yang !' haha. alhamdulillah. nenek, mamateh, babateh semuanya okay sgt. bersyukur sgt sgt :)

baba kate 'kau ni sebijik macam ateh (anak mamateh)'
ain kate 'hari ni gelak kena cover. ada boss tu (mama)' haha. sumpah ain jaga line terbaek gile !
mamateh kate 'nasib baik die sporting ngah, kalau tak dah lama mamateh reject !'
babateh kate 'baguih lah satu kelas dgn uli. lepas ni cepat sikit belajar'

lega rasanye, lepas semua ni dah jadi. haih. tapi kena ingat jugak, sekarang org suka, esok hari kite tak tau die suka lagi tak. insyaAllah

farewell RAMADHAN :(

today is the last day of ramadhan. so what im feeling ? hmmm, i suppose to be happy right ? but, no im nooottt. haha. and why ? i wonder why because this is the first time i feel this way at aidilfitri ! i been thinking about ramadhan last night. haih, this ramadhan quite hard for me. sumpah byk gila DUGAAN ! tapi alhamdulillah, its end very well and we're not going to celebrate aidilfitri together :( its okayy lah, but i dont know why i feel quite upset right now. kenapa ekk ? haih. semalam dah salam dia dah. tapi meleleh jugak air mata nii. kenapa yee ? maybe sebab banyak yg kite dah through sama sama ramadhan nii. alhamdulillah, semuanya okay je akhirnya :)

now he's at pedas, leaving me alone at kl. haha. its okayy, i will be at penang by tomorrow maybe. or tonight dah bertolak dah. insyaAllah. hope everything will be just fine. even he's not with me now, we still text-ing with each other. hee.

why my feeling could be like this ? macam nak sedih je. haha. entah lahh. hee. whatever lah. malas aku nak layan !

hee, now im done with kemas kemas rumah. sumpah cantik gile my home. hee. tingkap, kipas, lantai semua dah lap. tinggal nak packing barang untuk bawak pegi penang jee. hmm, maybe i'll be at penang until tuesday. hishh, my baby balik awal. kena lah tunggu aku. kesian dia :( tapi takpe lahh :) chill okay dayah ! raya nii ! hee :D

so tomorrow aidilfitri, and also my husband's birthday ! haha. happy birthday sayang. awal sikit sebab dekat kampung tak dapat nak update blog. takde internet.

so to my sayang, HAPPY 18TH ANNIVERSARY. WISH ALL THE BEST FOR YOU, LONG LIFE, HAPPY ALWAYS, BE WITH ME FOREVER, AND SUCCESS IN YOUR LIFE :)

you know how much i love you :)

NO MORE SECRET :)

yesss, i blow up the secret. there's nothing to hide. i know how pain to hear that. but you have to know, how pain i keep it secret and blame myself for all this time. look easy huh ? but its not. but still, thanks to you who are very strong to hear the secret.

there's nothing more to hide sayang. now, im totally yours. you got strong reason to walk away. but you did'nt. thanks to you again. you're the only reason why im still strong with this hard world. thanks syg, for not walk away, for accept who i am, for being with me all the time, for being so patience for all this time. for everything. im so appreciate it, and yess. who could be better than you ? NOBODY ! believe me :')

so yesterday, i thought it was my last class, but it was'nt. we still got class on wednesday. ouhh -__- and yesterday, me and sayang buat hal and puan ayu was pissed off when we're late for 1 hour. haha. itu sangat tak disengajakan because i thought class start on 12. but actually it start on 11. dah lah ada quiz, kitorang tak dapat buat pun. haha. but its okay lahh. malas nak fikir lagi dahh.

so semalam, kitorang buat sesi bergambar dalam class and now you all can meet my classmate and also my bestie :)

and malamnya, kitorang pegi berbuka puasa dengan our beloved mentor, puan izzaty and her husband :)