good bye forever.

i miss you
tomorrow will be a very important and scary day for me for this semester because i will be sitting the most scariest paper for this semester, introduction to economy. but guess whattt. i'm not making any preparation tonight. because i just lost my most important person in my life. and i don't have any strength to do any thing right now. i admit he is so important for me. but i know, how much he hate me so i won't begging to him any again. i know he won't leave me unless he really mean it. i don't blame you at all cause i know that all is my fault.

what i just have to do right now, is get use with this new life. try to forget about him, and try to make my life happy. i know how much he don't need and don't want to see my face again. i just hope he will be better without me.

i know how much you're not happy with me. i know all of it. cause i know who i am. everybody hates me. nobody needs me. i am a piece of junk. i am totally useless. i don't know what to do without you. i will figure it out later. i don't have any idea what to do now. i am totally clueless without you. i know you will be just fine without me.

huuuhhhh. we just plan to go to genting highland and after that port dickson. but seems all of it will be just dreams. he's not by my side anymore. i am just alone. sitting here. talking to myself. with nobody know what happen. i don't have any phone right now. i don't need it cause i had nobody to text with.

i will miss you, your smiles, your jokes, your laugh, your voice, your tears. i will miss it so bad. i know how all of this doesn't mean anything to you right now. and i know you won't read it. how stupid i am to leave you. i am totally stupid. and i know this thing won't fix forever. i will be here. alone. forever. cause i know, there's will be nobody after you. cause i don't want any man to take your place. i don't want cause i just need you. and i hope i won't love anybody beside you.

16 july 2010 to 6 march 2011.

4th march 2011

what a exhaustingggggg day dohh today. haha. full with fighting lah i guess. peehhhh. okay. lets start the story with the good news first. i would like to wish a big congratulation to my bestfriend to find a new girlfriend untuk mengubat kesunyiannya. haha. congrats brother. i hope you can take a really good care to her cause she are very nice girl you've ever had i guess. heee. so i've met her today. quite okay but we still have to teach her a lesson. haha. so after solat jumaat, we all proceed to ampang point to play bowling but ada tournament pulak then kitorang tukar pegi karaoke. okay what. haha. so lepas dah penat karaoke, fadzli and me was proceed to pavilion. hmm but before that, haha. we had a fight for the first time at the very early morning what the heck pehhh. haha. you don't know how much i hate that part. hee.

so lepas dah sampai dekat pavi, tangan ni pulak gatal gatal nk check ptptn haha okay dah masuk. hee. then pegi bb plaza sebab nk beli baju untuk fadzli and congratulations we had second fight. what the beautiful day. haha. then patah balik pavi, then pegi fahrenheit hmm tk beli ape pun grab satu bag jee. hahaha. tk boleh tahan nafsu lahh -.-

haha. lepas tu patah balik pavi sebab nk cari baju fadzli pegi cotton on hehe yeah i grab satu lagi kemeja congratulation. haha. then pegi padini then dah beli his shirt and tshirt yeah he satisfied now i guess. so my stomach was soooo hungry then proceed pegi setiawangsa to isi balik perut nii. and hell yeah, another fight hahahahaha yeah i'm so gladdddddd -.- f.

then dah nak balik my home yes this time i was so happy and rasa nk lompat lompat sebab ada roadblock. wtffffffffffff hahaha benci dohhh. tapi alhamdulillah selamat semuanyaaaaa. then terus jalan lagi then someone said to me 'org tau awk dah menyampah dengan org' ohh what a very great words after whole day we had fighting with each other. that was so release. haha.

heee. so now i want to make hmm kind a confession i guess. haha.

to muhammad nur fadzli, you know how much i love you. you know how i can't live without you. i've told you before. just look into my eyes and believe me. i won't walk away from your life. don't you remember what we've been through for about 8 months ? that was so worthfull to have you beside me for all this time. i love you. i do. i don't care how more fights we have to through. i will through it. for you.

tell you

i've never tell you how special you are for me. because i can't find a way to tell you. i admit it how bad i am. don't appreciate what you've did to me. amik mudah semuanya. but i want you to know, i do realized what you've did for me. but i don't know how to say, thank you. i've never met someone special like you. you're full with patient. you keep tell me how special i am for you. but what i've did for you ? nothing. zero.

but today i want to let you know, i will never could to live without you even for a second. i know i can't. because you're everything for me. you've took away my heart. i could'nt find how to breath without you by my side. i could'nt live without your oxygen. believe me sayang. you're everything for me. i'm sorry if i've hurt you before this. i did'nt mean to. i hope you gonna stay with me. don't you ever walk away from my life once again. its hurt me so bad.

ily.

dear celcom,

dear celcom,
i'm sorry. i can't pay you for that amount, okay.

takkan tk boleh halal kot -.-

life is what we've never thought

what's happen around me kind a surprising me lately. haha. one of my friend had a really bad heart damage were made by his girlfriend ohh no ex-girlfriend. haha. sumpah kesian dengan member aku sebab kena game dengan ex-girlfriend die gile teruk lah dohh. hee. we all doakan yang terbaik untuk kau. insyaallah tuhan akan temukan kau dengan perempuan yang jauh lebih baik untuk kau. amin

life is what we've never thought. haha. its true. haha. people change but you change a lot. siapa ? nobody. hee.
i've got true friends before. but now ? i'm kind a lost my best friends.


lucky i got him by my side. always. 24/7 and i love him so much. i do. he is everything for me. i can't even think how if i lose him. he just what i got right now. and he is the one who will never betray me. that's what friends for but that's what i got from him. my best friend ever.

i love you, boyfriend

i miss you guys

i miss you guys a lot.

rindu waktu sekolah dulu. haha. susah senang sama sama. now i know, something we want, even ada duit banyak mana pun, tapi kite takkan dapat balik ialah zaman sekolah. hmm i miss it so much. haha. macam macam dah jadi. and sekarang, persahabatan tu berubah sikit demi sedikit. tapi rasa sayang, takkan pernah hilang walau ape pun jadi. and i want you guys to know, i miss and love you guys so much. no matter what happen, please stand by my side and be a part of me. thank you for what you guys have done, and im sorry if i hurt you guys feeling or something. im just not perfect but i can't afford to lose you guys.

and ini lagi sorang, even kau jutawan or ape sekali pun, kau takkan dapat die dari aku. haha.

sorry, he is unavailable

he is totally mine. the one can make me laugh sampai tk ingat dunia but at the same time can make me feel so sensitive, so special. haha. he just hmm everything for me. haha. i love you so much. happy 7th months anniversary mokkk. i love you so much. you know i can't afford to lose you. thanks for being apart of my life. i love you i love youuu

trust nobody

i've been thinking about this thing so many times lately. hmm. i'm kind a wondering. who can i trust ? who my real friends ? since past 2 months, i did'nt approve any friends request on my facebook. why ? because i've been stabbed by people around me for few times and i've learn from that. now i decided to not trust anybody except my self and of course him.

i noticed some people i met everyday, being so near with me, so damn unsatisfied or hmm jealous maybe to my relationship. until now i still cant find why that thing could happen because i have no bad feeling towards her or her relationship because i had so much better life than her i guess.

once when i had a fight with him than she'll come over him and whisper to him like a evil or something and i still don't understand why. haha. because i had so much better life than her i repeat. come on sweetheart. just move on with your life. learn how can i had this beautiful life and stop doing something which we both know does'nt worth any shitt.

pfft -.-
i don't have any idea kenape wujud lagi manusia mcm ni dekat dunia nii. come on lahh. dah 2011 lah sayang kuu. haih.

and fyi, i am so damn happy with him and you can stop berusaha nk ruin our relationship lah. sebab aku tk penah kisah pasal your life lah sayang. and i am so glad to have him even starting relationship kitorang pun kau nk ruin kan jugak kann. haha.

and ada lagi satu jenis org yg aku baru noticed hmm wujud jugak org macam nii.
'aku cakap org boleh tapi sebenarnye aku cakap pasal die sebab aku dengki dengan die kott'
faham tak ? so cute kann ? ni lah perangai manusia.

haih. i know nobody is perfect. even myself pun. tapi entah lah. haih. ketara sangat kau tk puas hati dengan org even org tu tk penah kacau kau tak penah kenal kau punn hmm camane tuu ? haih. nk tegur, kawan sendiri. nk diam, aku sendiri sakit hati. haih nk ignore tapi rasa macam tk puas hati pulak.

now, i decided to screw the world hmm okay tak ?haha tapi nanti org pulak sibuk pasal aku hmm camane pulak kann. susah lah nak cari kawan betul betul kawan sebab macam dah takde real friends dah kann. haih, actually ade tapi berapa kerat je yg aku betul betul percaya.

sighhh -.-
dunia nk kiamat dah kann.