happy 20th birthday

happy birthday najihah binti idris.

actually i know this post were quite late but still, happy birthday sister.
we're being friends since the first time i was walk in to smt ert setapak at 8th of march 2008 i guess. and from that, i met this chubby girl who being my friend until now.

i want to let you know, i am so lucky to have you as my best friend and even you are quite silent i guess, but i know how to make you laugh even with my stupid jokes.

what i just hope is, she'll meet someone who can love her like i did, who can take a good care to her like her mother did.

first time i met her, she not talk so much to me. die macam sombong sikit nk kawan dengan aku. but with nobody realised, we have been so close at 2009 and i admit it, she quite sensitive person but don't worry, i know how to treat her very well. haha

anyway, i don't know why i put that picture sebab picture ni aku tk setuju sikit sebab kitorang dah macam bermadu dah. haha. joke. so sister, have a wonderful year, i wish all the best for you and i hope this relationship will be forever. you don't know how much i love you. happy birthday najihah.

i don't have any idea

i don't know what is wrong. i really don't know. you've said about breaking up these few days. what for ? if you really what to end this relationship, just let me know. just tell me. if you're not happy anymore with me, tell me. you don't have to ask me 'can't we be friends like we used to be ?' ohh man. you're so damn coward. 'if we had a problem, just face it with smile' you know what man ? you can stop with all the bullshit. i had enough. it just a small matter. you don't have to say something like that. i'll leave you if you really want to. i will.

there is no goodbye.

yes, there is no good bye. if we keep loving each other, there will be no ending except death. really hope so. but somehow i feel, lately we've been so 'hot' with each other which i don't have any idea why. there is something goes wrong somewhere but i don't know what is it. we've been fighting for about 7 times for a week. sigh. i hate that so much. last post, i've told you guys we've breaking our relationship up. but no, we're not going to end our relationship just like that. there will be always a way to go. to go better than this. but i don't know where to find that way. we've been working up so hard lately. insyaallah akan ada hasilnya.

i know, he won't leave me just like that. i know he will always defending this relationship. i don't have any stronger like he had. but he will always do. being so patient with me. the only person who won't walk away from my life, it is only him. the person who i can always count to, it just him.

i don't know why. we've been fighting for just a little small tiny things which doesn't worth anything. what a crap kan. haih.but what i fell so grateful with this relationship is, we've been fighting just because of us. not because of any third party. its mean we're not cheating with each other. i'm so grateful to have someone like him who are very loyal person and who i can always trust to. that are exactly why i am still standing here. stand beside him to defending this relationship together. cause we both know, we could die without each other.

and baby, thanks to you for still standing here. with me. i know i can always count on you. i know how people hates me, but i know i still got you so don't bother if whole world hates me.

good bye forever.

i miss you
tomorrow will be a very important and scary day for me for this semester because i will be sitting the most scariest paper for this semester, introduction to economy. but guess whattt. i'm not making any preparation tonight. because i just lost my most important person in my life. and i don't have any strength to do any thing right now. i admit he is so important for me. but i know, how much he hate me so i won't begging to him any again. i know he won't leave me unless he really mean it. i don't blame you at all cause i know that all is my fault.

what i just have to do right now, is get use with this new life. try to forget about him, and try to make my life happy. i know how much he don't need and don't want to see my face again. i just hope he will be better without me.

i know how much you're not happy with me. i know all of it. cause i know who i am. everybody hates me. nobody needs me. i am a piece of junk. i am totally useless. i don't know what to do without you. i will figure it out later. i don't have any idea what to do now. i am totally clueless without you. i know you will be just fine without me.

huuuhhhh. we just plan to go to genting highland and after that port dickson. but seems all of it will be just dreams. he's not by my side anymore. i am just alone. sitting here. talking to myself. with nobody know what happen. i don't have any phone right now. i don't need it cause i had nobody to text with.

i will miss you, your smiles, your jokes, your laugh, your voice, your tears. i will miss it so bad. i know how all of this doesn't mean anything to you right now. and i know you won't read it. how stupid i am to leave you. i am totally stupid. and i know this thing won't fix forever. i will be here. alone. forever. cause i know, there's will be nobody after you. cause i don't want any man to take your place. i don't want cause i just need you. and i hope i won't love anybody beside you.

16 july 2010 to 6 march 2011.

4th march 2011

what a exhaustingggggg day dohh today. haha. full with fighting lah i guess. peehhhh. okay. lets start the story with the good news first. i would like to wish a big congratulation to my bestfriend to find a new girlfriend untuk mengubat kesunyiannya. haha. congrats brother. i hope you can take a really good care to her cause she are very nice girl you've ever had i guess. heee. so i've met her today. quite okay but we still have to teach her a lesson. haha. so after solat jumaat, we all proceed to ampang point to play bowling but ada tournament pulak then kitorang tukar pegi karaoke. okay what. haha. so lepas dah penat karaoke, fadzli and me was proceed to pavilion. hmm but before that, haha. we had a fight for the first time at the very early morning what the heck pehhh. haha. you don't know how much i hate that part. hee.

so lepas dah sampai dekat pavi, tangan ni pulak gatal gatal nk check ptptn haha okay dah masuk. hee. then pegi bb plaza sebab nk beli baju untuk fadzli and congratulations we had second fight. what the beautiful day. haha. then patah balik pavi, then pegi fahrenheit hmm tk beli ape pun grab satu bag jee. hahaha. tk boleh tahan nafsu lahh -.-

haha. lepas tu patah balik pavi sebab nk cari baju fadzli pegi cotton on hehe yeah i grab satu lagi kemeja congratulation. haha. then pegi padini then dah beli his shirt and tshirt yeah he satisfied now i guess. so my stomach was soooo hungry then proceed pegi setiawangsa to isi balik perut nii. and hell yeah, another fight hahahahaha yeah i'm so gladdddddd -.- f.

then dah nak balik my home yes this time i was so happy and rasa nk lompat lompat sebab ada roadblock. wtffffffffffff hahaha benci dohhh. tapi alhamdulillah selamat semuanyaaaaa. then terus jalan lagi then someone said to me 'org tau awk dah menyampah dengan org' ohh what a very great words after whole day we had fighting with each other. that was so release. haha.

heee. so now i want to make hmm kind a confession i guess. haha.

to muhammad nur fadzli, you know how much i love you. you know how i can't live without you. i've told you before. just look into my eyes and believe me. i won't walk away from your life. don't you remember what we've been through for about 8 months ? that was so worthfull to have you beside me for all this time. i love you. i do. i don't care how more fights we have to through. i will through it. for you.

tell you

i've never tell you how special you are for me. because i can't find a way to tell you. i admit it how bad i am. don't appreciate what you've did to me. amik mudah semuanya. but i want you to know, i do realized what you've did for me. but i don't know how to say, thank you. i've never met someone special like you. you're full with patient. you keep tell me how special i am for you. but what i've did for you ? nothing. zero.

but today i want to let you know, i will never could to live without you even for a second. i know i can't. because you're everything for me. you've took away my heart. i could'nt find how to breath without you by my side. i could'nt live without your oxygen. believe me sayang. you're everything for me. i'm sorry if i've hurt you before this. i did'nt mean to. i hope you gonna stay with me. don't you ever walk away from my life once again. its hurt me so bad.

ily.

dear celcom,

dear celcom,
i'm sorry. i can't pay you for that amount, okay.

takkan tk boleh halal kot -.-